Randomness in the city

It's a little difficult to pull my thoughts together into a coherent post right now -- there's simply too much going on.  Basically, one of the key features of a major city is that the sheer density of contacts between people leads to all kinds of interactions: some incredible and inspiring, many simply to be endured (there's something quite alienating about interacting and bumping up against (often quite literally) thousands of strangers) and some quite terrible.  This has been recognized for hundreds of years and more formally explored for roughly a century by urban sociologists such as Louis Wirth and even earlier, Georg Simmel.  I'm not one of those people who claim that without the bitter, we wouldn't enjoy the sweetness of life.  I think that there are plenty of difficulties already and that doing as much as possible to eliminate crime, particularly violent crime, would make living in cities even better.  I don't need the frisson of possibly being mugged to enjoy the positive fruits of city life all the more.  I was mugged once (in Chicago) and it sucked.  It mostly led to me hating my neighborhood and eventually moving.

That's one of the downsides of crime is that it does feel pretty random, particularly when it feels like it invades "nice neighborhoods."  If a few more people had been out in the evening (it was only 9 pm or so) or even if there had been more streetlights in that part of Chicago, then the mugger would probably have chosen a different location or certainly a later time, and I would have had a much less eventful/stressful evening (along with all the annoying follow-up that comes when you report a crime and have to put your life back together, as it were).  Just as with the biking incident from last week, a small change here or there would have made quite a difference.  (Of course, things might have taken a turn for the worse, though it was in both of our interests that no gunshots actually be fired, as it would have attracted a lot of attention in Lincoln Park.)

One can do what one can to improve the odds, but even staying home doesn't completely keep one safe, so one might as well take educated risks and enjoy the city.  (Still, the fact that guns are basically controlled in Toronto does make me feel safer, and is certainly one factor in why Toronto's per capita murder rate is less than one-tenth of Chicago's!)  It truly is that randomness that is so frightening, and Toronto has just suffered two fatal stabbings in one week that have people a bit on edge.  (Yes, I understanding taking away guns won't completely eliminate murder to say nothing about violent crime in general, but I would always prefer my chances in a city with fewer guns.)

The very unusual case of a woman stabbing another woman in what is truly an unplanned, random attack is so hard to fathom.  As best as the police have put it together, the accused (Rohinie Bisesar) was struggling with her mental health (as well as not being able to hold down a steady job, which surely contributed to her other problems*).  She thought that this attack would be a jolt (to the system?) that would somehow be "extreme" enough to fix her mind -- or at least get the attention of the authorities so that they would help her.  I have to say this comes across as Camus's The Stranger where the narrator really makes no meaningful defense of his crime.  (And of course, the true victim is Rosemarie Junor who simply ran across Bisesar at the exact wrong time.)  Anyway, I don't want to dwell on this sad event, other than to say it is one of the more tragic random events in Toronto over the past few months.

Returning to literature, I have just reread** Kafka's The Trial, which has aspects of the random all over it: one day, the authorities just show up at your house and tell you that you are under arrest.  They won't even reveal what crime you are supposed to have committed,† and there is apparently no way to clear your name.  The best that is on offer is either an ostensible (conditional?) acquittal (which might be revoked at any time) or indefinite (perpetual?) postponement.  Either way, all the arrested parties in this book have a sword hanging over their head the entire time, and the best they can do is play out the string and perhaps die while their case is in abeyance.  No one is ever cleared.  This could be taken for a metaphor for life under a dictatorship or really just life in general.  We are all waiting for the sword to fall, or at least for the other shoe to drop.

One thing that really does worry me, though less in Canada than in the U.S., is to run across one of those difficult people who love to file lawsuits.  There are certainly a few times I can recall that I could have gotten crossed up in something like that (when I was dealing with tenants or even before that when I nearly bought an apartment building in Newark (now that was definitely a narrow escape when the mortgage company refused to issue a mortgage and the entire deal went south)).  Many people's lives have been ruined once they get caught up in the legal machinery, even for civil cases though certainly criminal cases are worse for turning one's life upside down.  It isn't simply a literary invention.  Add to that the seemingly increasing number of scammers who try to draw you into their court cases, often in an attempt to get a payoff from you or your insurers, and it is hard to remain unscathed.  My wife actually was in a minor car accident where the other party (the one at fault) committed insurance fraud, and we were lucky to remain out of any law suit at that time and haven't heard anything more about it (having moved out of Chicago has certainly helped...).  Still, it can be just as traumatic and feel as random as a mugging to get slapped with a law suit  In that sense, it is one of those risks that people run by living in cities.  All that said, I would still take urban life over the alternatives...


* While it might not have made a difference, I do think that in the tail end of the 90s (a relative boom time), Bisesar would have remained employed.  It just feels to me that, structurally, employment opportunities have gotten so bad that thousands if not millions of Americans and Canadians will never feel employment security again.

** I probably read this in my late teens, and while I was aware of social hierarchy and the abuse of power by authorities, many passages in the book now resonate more deeply, particularly how K. is trying to navigate office politics while still attending to his trial.  I was also a bit surprised at how much sex there is in the book, as that aspect did not sink in when I read it the first time around.  What else can I really say?  It is one of the masterpieces of 20th Century literature, and it remains so relevant in these lookingglass times when the authorities have decided to monitor every one of us to protect our freedoms.

† In that sense, when the authorities come to arrest Harry Buttle (instead of Tuttle) in the movie Brazil, they at least tell the victim what his crimes were, though because he dies of a heart attack, he cannot clear his name. Even if he had survived, it might have been just as difficult to be exonerated as it is today to get one's name off the Do-Not-Fly list. I assume that Gilliam was responding at least at some level to Kafka's The Trial, though I suppose it would have been more likely to be the movie version that Welles directed. Improbably, I've actually never seen that, though I have a copy on DVD somewhere. When I am back from my trip to Cleveland, I will have to watch it, particularly as Ebert gave it a 4-star review.

First sewing success

I think it important to occasionally focus on the positive outcomes, instead of only griping about bad taxi rides or subway trips.  Indeed, I certainly ought to be more positive in general, though that would require a personality transplant.

Anyway, by 1 pm on Sunday, I had managed to get the groceries done and put one more strand of outdoor lighting up and we had the indoor Christmas tree up.  (Actually, I really ought to have taken a photo of the Christmas tree lot near the store, since it was quite impressive, but I never went by except after dark.  Now people have decided it is time to decorate and there weren't that many trees left.)  Our tree is an artificial one that we have had for roughly 15 years.  I mostly let the kids decorate it, though (for now) I am the only one tall enough to put the angel on the top.  I think it turned out pretty well.

After a bit of a break, my daughter and I set out for Withrow Park to see how it would take us under normal circumstance to get there.  Basically 20 minutes, which gives her just a bit of time to change into her skates at the rink.  I may have to make it 25 minutes the first couple of times just in case.  So unfortunately, I won't be getting a lot of rest on Saturday until mid March.  Anyway, she practiced a bit with the sledge, and we might be able to get one more practice run in closer to the holidays.

I decided it was finally time to break out the sewing machine.  I did a few more tests and then pinned up the curtains I wanted to sew together.  I actually didn't have that much trouble on the first side, but the second side was just torture.  The thread kept snapping and other times it would just get snarled up.

I was really dreading what I had gotten myself into with all this fabric (that I ostensible will use at some point for a quilt top).  I decided that since I still had the black thread in the machine, I would sew the leaves onto this stuffed apple I wanted to make.

Somewhat surprisingly, this went quite well.  I actually had a very nice leaf pattern that my daughter drew, so I cut 2 leaves out of felt.

As nice as the pattern is, there are far too many veins, given the fact that the leaves will be on the outside and bulged out a bit due to the stuffing inside.  Anyway, sewing them on took almost no time at all, and the thread didn't snap once.  (I added 2 more veins to each leaf.)

I decided that was enough sewing for one day.  Then Monday after work I swapped out the thread for red thread and sewed the outside edges.  Since the entire thing has to be turned inside out, I decided to leave the hole up near the leaves since they would be the biggest challenge to pull through the whole.  In general, I didn't have too many problems sewing, though it is clear I still have a long ways to go to get the bobbin and the thread all in their correct position.  But honestly, it wasn't too bad for only two days back in the saddle.  (I haven't done serious machine sewing since high school!)

The magic happens when you turn it inside out.

Then all that remains is to stuff the apple, and stitch up the top.

And voila!

I'd say that went pretty well for about 3 hours or so of effort.  Of course, I have a ton of material left over, and it really isn't as sturdy as I would like, even just to make a border for a quilt, though I might change my mind.  I also have a huge package of filler left over.  I perhaps can be convinced to make one apple for each of the kids' teachers, though not until the New Year.

My next project will be to return to the curtains and finish up the job.  Basically I need to cut them in half, pin and press the edges and sew up the edges.  I probably should sew the top and bottom ends, though that isn't quite as critical.

I think I will then make the skirt.  At this point I will feel comfortable enough to make the curtains for my daughter's room (they have to be a bit nicer than the ones in the study after all).  Then I'd probably make a couple of pajama bottoms and if I am really feeling ambitious, attempt a pajama top, though that might involve buttons -- and button holes! -- and I am not sure I am up to that.

If this all goes reasonably well, and I am not totally sick of sewing by that point, I will try out this cool pattern for a child's quilt.  It uses 8 different fabric patterns, which not so coincidentally I have on hand.  I do think, however, that I may break down and use one of these longarm services to actually quilt all the layers together.  It's something I may do myself some day, but I think it is pretty likely that I will ruin my quilt on the first few times I attempt to quilt on a home machine.  There's just so much that can go wrong, not least of which is having to change a bunch of settings and change the sewing machine foot and probably even using a different type of needle.  Anyway, that is a problem for another day...

Edit: Of course my daughter asked why there wasn't a stem.  The short answer is that it is a bit of a pain to put one on.  However, I did think of a way to try to attach one made of black yarn, but I will only do that if I actually decide to make some more.  At the moment, I am sticking with just the one.

Another tough day on Toronto transit

This day ended up being quite different than I expected.  I had thought we would stop by the Christmas windows and go into the Eaton Centre and probably check out the Turner exhibit at the AGO.  However, pretty much the entire family but me is either recovering from a cold or getting the sniffles.  I am running myself into the ground, but it doesn't look like I am actually catching a cold, so maybe keeping my distance a bit is for the best.  At any rate, I left them home and ran off to take care of a number of things.

I actually had a huge stack of books to drop off at the library.  I heard back from the person selling the skates on Kijiji and he wanted to meet at 5:30.  That meant I rearranged everything and would do that last, not first.  It probably worked out ok that way, except on the transit side of the equation.

I stayed on the train to Bathurst and went to Fabricland.  I was really only trying to get a few things to attempt to make a stuffed apple (something my daughter wants to "play school") but I just could not resist the amazing fabrics at unbelievable prices -- most of it was $3/meter for holiday themed flannels.  I bought enough to make another 2 pairs of pajamas (well, the pants at least which are much simpler than the tops).  I do have a bad tendency to get a bit manic at times, and I ended up getting material to attempt a holiday quilt.  Anyway, this is definitely the weekend that I need to actually get cracking and start tackling these various sewing projects, so no more clandestine fabric purchases until I actually start making something with what I already have!

Then I went to St. Andrew station and wandered through the PATH.  Wow, it is kind of eerie when it is deserted.  I think I saw a total of 10 other people, including a couple of maintenance guys who were polishing the floors!  However, Indigo was open and I was able to exchange a book that had inadvertently been purchased twice.  So I think I am about halfway done with buying Christmas gifts.  I think I know what the other things are, and if I put in the order today, all should show up in time.

I swung by work for a bit.  I was kind of tempted to go to the AGO to see if the crowds had died down at the Turner exhibit but decided I just didn't really have the time today.  I think I'll try to go next week either Wed. or Fri. (during the new extended hours).  It's looking like I will take the family on Jan. 3 in the morning.

So at 4:30 I set off to meet the Kijiji seller.  He wanted to meet at Bayview, which is the second stop on the Sheppard stubway.  It's pretty far, but a fairly direct shot up Yonge on the subway and then a transfer at Sheppard.  At least that was the plan...

I get on the subway to go south around the loop and we sit for a long time at Union.  Finally, they say that there is a medical emergency at College.  Then they break in and say it is a medical emergency on the tracks, so either someone fell or was pushed or most likely jumped in front of a train.  After a lot of conferring, they shut down the line completely from Bloor to Union and the train we were on went back up the University side, which meant cutting across from St. George back to Bloor and then finally north.  What an unbelievable hassle.  I've spent some time looking, and there are no reports on what actually happened, though I suppose it was not a fatality or it would have made the news (despite TTC generally wanted to downplay suicides to prevent copy cat incidents).  It took a full hour to clear and get the trains back on something approaching their normal run times.  So this was definitely a serious incident.

Despite this disruption, I was only about 5 minutes late getting to Bayview, but unfortunately the seller hadn't been very clear on where to meet, and it took me a while to find him.  However, I left with the skates and a helmet.  It even has a face mask (for a goalie) but I think that can be removed.  I'll try to check with the instructors ahead of time.  It looks like we might be able to test them out tomorrow at Withrow Park, though the other option is Greenwood Park (or for that matter Ryerson has a small rink right next to its Image Centre).  All of these are free.  I hope this is something my daughter likes.  If she gets really into it, I might have to get my own skates, though I have to say it isn't something I am particularly good at or looking forward to.

Anyway, I was pretty drained when I finally got home (the train ride back was packed and I had to stand most of the way).  I did appreciate that I managed to get the outdoor lights up and working

I had a few good intentions for the rest of the evening, but mostly I just took a nap.  I need to save some energy for tomorrow when we should be decorating the indoor tree, though I'll mostly let the kids handle that.  As I said, I do want to do at least a bit of sewing, and I might take my daughter over to the skating rink just to see how long it actually takes us, so we don't cut it too close once her skating lessons actually start.

Tough day in Toronto

As you may know if you follow Toronto events, there was a drive-by shooting in the downtown -- at King and Peter.  This was almost like a hit out of the movies, where a car pulled up to another car and somebody shot a dozen shots into the other car.  The man that was shot died of his injuries.  This is a truly shocking elevation of the occasional gang violence that simmers beneath the surface in Toronto.  I would say there is less of this happening here than in Surrey for instance, but a day-time shooting downtown is really taking it to a new level.  I work only a few blocks away and we heard about this just as we were leaving.

Cynics, particularly cynical Americans, will just say this proves how useless it is to restrict handguns, since then only the criminals will have them.  I will never agree with that line of thought.  Having guns out of general circulation is a good thing in my view, since it means that people that "snap" (and boy there are a lot of people in that category in these challenging times) don't have easy access to a lethal weapon.  Also it doesn't hurt that in general Canadians are a bit more civilized and less prone to settling arguments with violence than Americans.  (Again, I am not saying that stupid, drunken fights don't break out all the time in Canada, but it is still less prevalent than in the U.S. and they are so rarely fatal up here.)  Basically, Canada would be much better enforcing its gun laws if it didn't border one of the most gun-happy (or really gun-crazed) countries on the entire planet.

One of the events that I do expect to cover in my novel (but not the stage adaptation) is how the infamous murder at Just Desserts cafe in 1994 really unsettled the city.  A few stories about the case are here and here.  (It even made it into an academic article, which is unfortunately behind a paywall.)  A weird twist is that one defendant was acquitted but then murdered in Jamaica a few years later after being deported there.  What made this case so difficult -- along with the even more sensational Eaton Centre shooting -- is that it feeds directly into the narrative that most of the truly violent crime in Toronto (and certainly the random violent crime that intrudes on the "nice" downtown districts) is committed by visible minorities.  I'm not sure that it is true, but it feels true, and that is always enough to get people riled up and taking a hard line about changing immigration laws and even deporting people.  I don't really have an answer, other than I think it is completely ridiculous that anyone in Toronto is foolish enough to adopt U.S. ghetto culture or think it is something to aspire to and yet that is clearly happening.

Ok, enough about that.  I put in another couple of hours at work and then left.  I was on the subway at Bay and Bloor when they announced there was a medical emergency on the train ahead (at Yonge) and we just sat and waited and waited and waited.  I didn't even have a book with me, but I did clear out 4 newspapers that I had stashed in my briefcase.  I guess the good news was that it probably was someone actually sick on the subway and not a suicide.  I don't want to be too cold-hearted, but I can't understand why they can't find a way to address these incidents better (maybe even stationing a medical team permanently at Bloor-Yonge and perhaps the Eaton Centre -- or if that was unfeasible ensuring that the station agents at those locations had extra medical training/certification, though I know that would raise their salaries even further).   Anyway, it took a solid 15 and perhaps even 20 minutes to get the trains moving again (and absolutely no one could cross the city east to west on the subway during that time).  That is a huge hit on people's time to say nothing of lost productivity, though I suppose it was a bit after the PM rush hour.  Then I managed to just miss the bus after I got back to Pape, so I was in a bit of a state when I finally got home.

I think some of this generalized anxiety has sunken in, as I had a deeply distressing dream where I was pulled in 4 or 5 directions and managed to disappoint a lot of people who were waiting on me.  (That's hitting a bit too close to my actual life as a consultant...)

But today's a new day and I am going to try to be upbeat.  I figured out why I couldn't get the outdoor outlet turned on, and now we have Christmas lights in the tree in the front lawn.  I just need another strand of lights -- and some duct tape that will actually keep its stickiness outside in the cold, so as to keep people from tripping over the cord.  I also tracked down a receipt, so I can return a book that was purchased twice.  And I managed to get my daughter into skating lessons and will go pick up some skates I found on Kijiji this weekend (probably tomorrow).  So it looks like the weekend will be a bit better -- than yesterday at any rate.

More biking in Toronto

It appears that I have already covered much of what I was going to write here, but I should mention that while the extended bike lanes on Richmond are really quite nice, there is so little enforcement on Adelaide that they are basically useless once you get to University Ave.

I'm a little surprised that I am still biking at least occasionally in the second week of December.  I don't expect to do it much longer, partly because it is starting to get cold* and it is really dark by the time I bike home but mostly because I keep running into terrible head winds ever morning and they get stronger as I get closer to the downtown.

While there are definitely difficulties in urban biking, I haven't felt too personally threatened until today.  I was coming back the long way (having dropped off some books at Robarts) and a few people walking by on the sidewalk yelled at me.  I didn't really pay any attention until one of them pitched a full bottle of water along the street and it skidded past me and hit a parked car.  It's really hard to tell what would have happened if it had hit my tire, particularly the front tire.  I might have been able to keep going, or I might have had a minor fall, or it could have been pretty ugly.  I guess it just goes to show there are cretins everywhere, even in Toronto the Good.  Fortunately, I wasn't hit and I left them behind quickly.

It also goes to show that there is a lot of chance governing our lives.  If I had been going slower, or they threw it a bit harder or at a different angle, I would have been hit.  For that matter, last week I saw a cyclist in front of me nearly hit by a car that decided to turn right onto University at the last minute and didn't signal or even look, even though they have to cross a bike lane.  This is probably the single worst thing about the Richmond bike lane, and I have to remember to actually write City Council about it, since it is so unsafe at that intersection.

It's one of the unfortunate aspects of living with others that it only takes a very small number of misadjusted people to ruin life for everyone: ripping up flowers, destroying park benches, stealing wreathes and donation boxes, etc.  While it isn't literally an example of the third law of thermodynamics, it is an example of the asymmetry involved in creating/preserving a "nice" environment vs. despoiling it.  It takes an enormous amount of energy (and often red tape) to put things right again, which is why vandals can be so "successful."  It is always hard to build something up than try to tear it down.

* I did, however, just turn up my full fingered gloved literally less than 5 minutes ago -- and my banana carrying case.

While people can laugh, it has saved many a banana from being smooshed on the ride in to work, and -- more importantly -- prevented smashed banana from getting over everything else in my panier.

Toronto taxi follies

I assume anyone in Toronto is aware of all the protests related to taxi drivers and their unhappiness over the city's collective refusal to reign in UberX.  I actually saw them tying up University Avenue on my way in to work this morning.  It is actually a fairly complex issue with a lot of wrinkles, not nearly as simple as most people make it seem.  It is probably true that Uber drivers generally do not carry enough insurance (and are often lying to their own insurance companies) -- and who really knows just what kind of blanket coverage Uber has or doesn't have for its drivers.  That said, it is going to be all but impossible to truly put Uber and related apps back in the bottle, so it does make more sense to come up with some reasonable regulations that would cover Uber and perhaps lighten up some of the taxi regulations.  What is clear is that while the cab drivers may have intimidated a small number of Toronto councilors, their actions, particularly today, have driven even more people over to Uber and UberX.

I generally avoid taking cabs unless there are no reasonable alternatives.  I probably never took a cab for myself until a few years into my consulting career.  Then I realized in some cases, it really did make sense.  This year I have generally worked far too late and it has gotten so that the only way I could make a play opening was to take a cab, but hopefully this is only a temporary thing.

I generally had pretty good experiences with Toronto cabs.  However, we have moved to a street a bit off the beaten path, and one friend had a miserable experience trying to get here from Union Station.  I would say since the move, half of the rides I've had from the neighbourhood (not from downtown) have been really bad, including one where a cab driver got completely lost and went the wrong direction and then another cab driver who started arguing with me about directions to my house.  So I have to say that my generally positive feelings have basically evaporated.  I haven't signed up for Uber, but it really is just a matter of time, I suspect.  Still, I do my best to avoid needing a cab or Uber in the first place, and I would like to keep it that way if possible.

 

Edit (10/2026): One thing that has helped with the cab drivers getting lost is they all follow Google maps or the equivalent now, so we haven't had those issues in ages, even though getting to our place is far more challenging now with Ontario Line construction (and my favourite cut-through is gone, along with a No Frills less than 5 minutes away.  Sigh...).  I never did sign up for Uber, though I did sign up for Lyft and used it a couple of times in L.A.  I thought I might use Lyft in Winnipeg, but ended up just taking standard cabs between the airport and the conference centre/hotel.

Alienated

I guess this is as good a pun as any.  I had fairly high hopes for my piece, which starts off as a homage to (or rip off of) Eric Bogosian's subUrbia.  There are a bunch of high school kids sitting outside a 7-Eleven (while unspecified I have in mind the one on Belmont in Chicago), getting hassled by the store manager and sassing him back in return.  These are the typically slightly smarter than is realistic punks, but that is pretty much how most characters are presented on stage, i.e. more verbally gifted than is strictly realistic.

Anyway, I had worked out quite a few issues and dropped the bit about the store manager upbraiding Rajiv for hanging out with the punks, though a bit of Rajiv's internal struggle is still faintly represented.  Some of that is addressed as an off-stage conflict.  I also simply ran out of time for Johnny's older sister to show up, give him hell, but then to tell off the manager when he comes to try to enlist her in his efforts to dislodge the group from his property.  While that had some promise, it was just too long, particularly as this is all a bit of a set-up for a throwaway joke (about aliens naturally).

So I submitted on time, but didn't hear anything through Sun.  I even emailed Monday to ask what had happened, but got no response.  I decided to drop by the Storefront anyway, and I got basically no meaningful answer as to why I didn't get notification.  It turns out one of the organizers isn't reading the scripts at all.  It was particularly frustrating as they didn't have enough parts for the actors, and the main organizer went and looked over something on the computer and printed out a script.  I thought it might be mine (that they somehow overlooked, since it really doesn't seem that they read it in the first place).  Well, I was pretty crushed when they picked something else, and they went with 5 scripts only when they could have printed mine as well and had 4 more roles for the evening.  Should I feel incredibly snubbed?  Maybe, maybe not, but my feelings are hurt based on this experience.  I didn't see any of the three actors I wanted to talk about a potential future project, so I think I am done with Storefront/Red One for a while.  Here is the script if you want to peruse it.

I am starting to wonder if I am just too genteel a writer for the stage.  Aside from one piece still gestating (and more than a little inspired by Lear), I tend to write about inter-ethnic conflicts that can be bridged without too much ranting and raving.  Conflict is a bit muted, which doesn't go over that well with this younger group of actors.  On the other hand, there is a solid strand of comedy writing that occupies this space (a too-safe space?).  I guess I'll be thinking more about this as I try to revise some of these plays.  I don't really want to add conflict solely to spice things up, but only if it can emerge organically from the setting and the characters. 

What is definitely true is that in general, I am in a very bad frame of mind (not just about my creative writing "career"), and I have to be careful not to make any rash decisions at the moment.  I'll probably go into this in more detail a bit further down the road.