I'm just super frustrated by so many things right now, including that my email provider completely swallowed an email to a friend, despite my having tried to save it as a draft a few times. I just don't feel like going back and retyping it, even though the note wasn't especially long.
I'm really frustrated by everything going on south of the border and wondering why the Dems just seem so completely feckless and disorganized. I'm really unhappy about hearing all the issues people are facing crossing the border. While I am expecting no issues on my upcoming trip to L.A., I am at the point where if I need to make this trip on a frequent basis (due to work), then I will find a new job. I probably should find a whole new line of work, but it's a little late for that unfortunately.
I also just read an article about how Doug Ford is going to be ripping out even more bike lanes and telling cyclists to fuck off and go use the side streets (ignoring the fact that Toronto doesn't actually have parallel side streets to its main roads). Unfortunately, this is a case where the institutional power is all concentrated at the Provincial level, and the courts have told dissenting municipalities to go fuck off as well. I'm feeling we are at the the point where all civil, democratic means of changing the situation for the better have failed, and we shall see what comes next. I personally cannot defend or support "the system" any longer, even though what comes next will likely be even worse.
I'm awfully depressed about everything, and it is hard to stay motivated. And then my will power slips (because nothing really matters), and I get frustrated that I am gaining weight instead of losing it. I am about 5 pounds worse off than when I really started to watch what I was eating (back in the fall I guess). I briefly made some progress, and then winter hit and work got really terrible, and I gained about 10 pounds. I think I have lost about 5 of that, but I need to lose 15 pounds in the next two months. That is unlikely to happen, but being back on the bike does help. And this week I will make it to the swimming pool twice and the gym once. Maybe I'll actually get to the point where I made it to the gym twice and the pool twice, though that will likely be a challenge, given how often I am working late or going to plays or concerts or indeed just being away from home (and finding hotel exercise rooms to be quite pitiful).
It's interesting because I have been at least considering whether I should try Ozempic or one of the other wonder drugs. There is so much stigma around them -- because of course "if you had the will power," you could lose the weight on your own. But that's likely not the case for genetic reasons, as well as the fact that junk food is cheaper than proper food, and we are all over-stressed these days. Someone (not me) started a thread about this on a bulletin board, and within minutes someone came on to basically say that once they buckled down, they were able to lose all this weight and that the drugs were essentially cheating. It was such a confirmation of this article. Indeed, the guy circled back another time to do even more fat shaming, and I would have blocked him, but the board's software is so out of date, I can't do that any longer. Sigh. But I do wonder about the long-term impacts of taking these drugs, and in fact there was a very recent study saying that the drugs were incredible, but once you start, you are essentially locked into taking them forever, as the minute you stop, the weight comes back incredibly fast. Super depressing...
While I have stayed super busy and engaged in the arts scene, I missed out on two events that I really wanted to see. In one case it was totally my fault, whereas in the other case it was 10% (at max) my fault and basically the fault of the theatre company for completely failing to advertise their event. The DSO was going to play Shostakovitch's 10th Symphony, and I had pencilled in on my calendar forever, but I think I got very busy due to getting ready for a conference and somehow I never ordered my digital ticket in time. I probably thought there was a Sunday concert, and I could stream it after that, but it was gone. I emailed immediately afterward asking if it was possible to buy into the stream for another day or two, but I never got a response. There is still a chance that the concert or part of it will turn up in their digital archives, but it is still really frustrating, and I just don't know how I let this slip.
The other one is even more frustrating because if you miss a live theatre event, it can be years or even decades before there is another chance to see it (and it is even harder now that I pretty much am ruling out traveling to the States for 3+ years unless I absolutely must for work). I had been checking out the upcoming productions at DPS and Concord Theatricals (formerly Samuel French), and I had noticed a few plays of interest coming up in Toronto, including Posner's Life Sucks and a student production of Arcadia. I have seen Life Sucks in Chicago but really wanted to see it a second time. I forgot to get my blog post up in time, and then got busy. So that was on me. But then I never heard anything about it. It was a two week run that was completely under the radar No emails from Theatre Centre or prompting from any of my actor friends. And SFYS is defunct where I might have heard about it. No reviews in the papers (since only one or two plays get reviewed each month these days, and pretty much only Coal Mine, Soulpepper and Crow's get ink -- Tarragon has been completely shut out this season). Mooney's closed down, and there just is not a decent site that gathers up all the plays in a timely fashion. I finally saw Slotkin review it but it was basically the last day, and I simply couldn't rearrange my schedule to go. I am truly pissed. And it doesn't help that I went back to DPS to see if it was playing somewhere else, and they seem to have revamped the website to eliminate the Current Production search feature, which sucks beyond belief.
I had stumbled across a poster about Three Penny Opera over at Video Cabaret, but lost track of dates and then I found out it was closing this weekend. I went to buy tickets but it was completely sold out, except Thurs. when I am off to The Fox to see Woman in the Dunes. I did put myself on the wait list for Friday and Sat. evening. If that doesn't pan out, I might go back over to The Fox on Sat. to see Cronenberg's The Shrouds, as this date works a bit better for me than the late May dates at the Revue. (I was thinking it might turn up at Market Square, but so far no.) I mean I did end up scoring a ticket from the wait list for Lowest of the Low, so it might happen, but I can't count on that. I think this is a case where it is 50/50 my fault for dropping the ball but equally their generally poor promotion (outside their circle of friends and fellow students who have managed to sell out three shows, so more power to them but sad for me...).
Anyway, just a few more things to be disgruntled about. I guess it could be worse. I could be a Leafs fan...
Edit (05/16): I think I am going to be extremely sore for a while about missing Life Sucks. It really wouldn't have taken more than one email notice from Theatre Centre. I would have been able to squeeze it in somehow, even if it meant rescheduling A Strange Loop and paying the $8 charge this time around. In fact, I wouldn't say I'm sorry I saw A Strange Loop, but I didn't like it very much, and I would absolutely have preferred going to see Life Sucks instead. I did manage to get off the wait list for Three Penny Opera, so that's at least one fewer regrets. And I managed to score a couple of free tickets to some plays in development over at Canadian Stage in a few weeks (again coming off the wait list for a piece by Erin Shields). So that helps a bit. Also, when I am extremely grouchy, sometimes donating to charity puts me in a slightly better mood. So far I have donated to the Canadian Red Cross and the Heart and Lung Foundation. I'll likely give to the Toronto Star Fresh Air Fund this afternoon, and that may also help a bit.
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